Don't be too trusting in your rejection of dreams

Today I feel like a weed.
In the middle of nowhere
No real purpose
Just there-here-
In the way.

It's cloudy again
In the sky and in my mind.
It seems the sunshiney days are long gone
and few and far between.
If you're planning on spending any length of time outside (with me)
Bring an umbrella-
You never know when the clouds are going to break.

I listen to the words
But as hard as I
"try to forget how it feels inside"
I just can't seem to.
Even the rainbow pills can't seem to make the light come back.
I only injest them to make everyone else happy anyways.
I don't think my brain has any
Original chemicals left.

A penny for your thoughts
I'd have to pay you a million dollars to listen
I'd pay more to find someone who understands.

I don't think that my problem is that I'm completely hopeless
But overly hopeful.
Things that seem good usually are too good to be true
and crash like waves
Causing me to sink beneath the surface
No lifeguard on duty.

Black eyeliner smudged over pale, teary eyes
Hide the cracks.
Hoodie as my coat of armor
Pen as my sword.
I'll fight the world
With my words
That they'll never see.
Of course, now the sun comes out
Making the fresh cut grass smell amazing.
Lighting up my face
My skin warmer than my hearts been in a long time.
And now, I have to run and hide.
Back into the dungeon I go.

Been living in a world of invisible people
Guess that makes me invisible, too
But in the invisible, digital world
I feel like someone.